I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
