This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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