I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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