I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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