A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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