help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Randomize
