jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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