hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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