Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
