i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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