I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
