My liver just broke up with me...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Vodka?
Forever.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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