Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize