I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
