oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
