I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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