My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
is wine microwaveable?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize