Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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