so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize