Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize