I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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