does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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