There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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