break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
