I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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