I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize