I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize