somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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