i need an iv and a liver transplant
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize