i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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