Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
