I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
