so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
