I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
