there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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