May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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