i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
