Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
