atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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