i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
