do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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