Ambien. No doubt about it.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we should paint friendship bongs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize