sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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