wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I deserve this hangover.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
