My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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