They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Two words: blizzard sex
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
