I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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