I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
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GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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