Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
