You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The air taste purple.
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