Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
