so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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