He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize