Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
