Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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